Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene one step enough for me.
I was not ever thus, nor pray'd that thou
Shouldst lead me on.
I love to choose and see my path; but now,
Lead thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years.
So long thy pow'r hath blest me, sure it still
Will lead me on
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till
The night is gone.
And with the morn those angel faces smile,
Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!
John Henry Newman
1801-1890
______________________________________________________________________________________
Let me share something insane with you.
A good three or so weeks ago i got a really neat cd from a friend...all spiritual music. a lot of quartet arrangements. i plugged it in. the very first song gave me goosebumps.
"
Lead kindly Light."
There are a lot of good songs on that cd, but this one in particular stood out to me. & i became obsessed with it. it was definitely repeat-worthy to me.
* Last saturday, my good friend ALEX L got married!!!!!! to her best friend. known this girl for yearrrs. & love her to death. we have a unique history, i think. so when the reception was pretty much over, everyone did the traditional "let's celebrate you walking together to your car" farewell, while i just wandered to a back room to find a piano. i sat there and played this song again on my mp3.
I texted the person who gave it to me, making sure they were well aware of my obsession. --funny thing, this person was listening to the song as they read my text. coincidence? yeah.
* The next day, i finally went to my family ward. i've been dying to visit there for a long time! our wards overlap now, and i can't sneak away because of my calling(s): new member class & 1/4 organist.
Sister herzog played "
lead kindly light" as the prelude to sacrament mtg. cool.
* I stayed because benjamin was ordained to the office of a teacher (!). he's a little 14-yr-old studmuffin now. i was still able to leave in time for the last half of my ward's sacrament. and the speaker.....quoted the first verse of '
lead kindly light.' weiiird.
* We had dinner at my grandpa's with the sister missionaries. super fun. then lounged on his couch afterward with my laptop. since the internet was down at my house, i decided to take full advantage.
At one point, i sat my laptop down on the couch & squished the little cd button on the side & it popped open. "oops," i thought. and pushed it back it. the music player popped up on my screen and started playing..."
lead kindly light"!! never happens.
These are the creepy hymn hauntings of one weekend.
You wish this was the end! but it's not....
* Tuesday night, i went to spanish institute class. opening hymn, "
divina luz." i literally gasped out loud. that night, i tried to unravel the meaning behind this hymn....this no longer seemed like coincidence to me. i'll tell you the conclusions i came to shortly.
* Thursday night, bro hansen's new testament class. opening hymn, "
lead kindly light." nooooooo way. i think bro hansen saw the crazed look i had on my face as i walked in and joined them in finishing the last 2 verses. well, i
did also have my hand awkwardly wrapped over my mouth trying to lock in the surprise.
Read further if you so desire:
____________________________________________________________________________________
Story behind this hymn:
As a young priest traveling in Italy in 1833, Englishman John Henry Newman encountered emotional and physical darkness when illness detained him there for several weeks. He became deeply discouraged, and a nurse who saw his tears asked what troubled him. All he could reply was that he was sure God had work for him to do in England. Aching to return home, he finally found passage on a small boat.
Not long after the ship set sail, thick fog descended and obscured the hazardous cliffs surrounding them. Trapped for a week in the damp, gray darkness, the ship unable to travel forward or back, Newman pled for his Savior’s help as he penned the words we now know as the
hymn“Lead, Kindly Light.”
From the ensign: "
lead kindly light" nov. 2000
____________________________________________________________________________________
Brain at work:
I looked up other sources of the story too. some were more gloomy than others. apparently this hymn was also sung for queen victoria before she died, and was the last hymn sung on the titanic before it sank.....
So my initial impression was: is this a sign that i'm going to die soon?!
But with some helpful prompts and further analyzing of the lyrics, i found a lot of good messages in this hymn that wasn't there before. for example:
1) submit to His will. as a child
2) follow the guidance we receive, even without being able to see the end from the beginning
(i can't take the credit for this one ^^)
2) trust in the Lord completely
3) i had a plan, but it's not working out. please lead me on.
4) i thought i was going in the direction You wanted me to, but now i'm stuck. please lead me on.
5) You've led me this far, i know You will lead me the rest of the way. please do.
Then i was able to tie it a little to my patriarchal blessing, which is always a thrill. especially because i don't really see how these lyrics pertain to me right now, but when i look into my future a tid bit more, i see correlations. the line that i can always relate to is the title of this post. the rest i see as more of preparation for later.
And if there's absolutely no reason this song came up like crazy the past week & HF is just playing games with me....then He definitely wins. because this song is driving me mad. and He is probably getting a kick out of it.
I am so sick of this song right now! And i am so drawn to it.
I wake up singing it in the morning. And i hate that it gets stuck in my head.
But i end up playing it again and again anyway.
And spend hours turning it into a video for my blog.
I guess that's what it took to etch it's way into my memory.
And it's probably a good thing.
