dejavu...in its intensity

Like i said, i've been having some serious dejavu. it continues even now, but it started when emma was born. to the day.

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It was a cloudy and beautifully rainy day. i remember i was cooking chifles in the kitchen to bring to the hospital because it was day 2 of amy's labor and i was positive people were hungry. i felt deja vu then.
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As we sat in the waiting room, i sat in a chair against the wall across from the vending machines. a football game was on. we tinkered with a sand-art table. benjamin tryed prying out a quarter from one of the vending machines for about 20 minutes.

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He eventually succeeded. all of this felt like deja vu.
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The feelings were frequent and daily after that. it surprised me because the deja vu was so obvious. even over the simplest things, i felt like i've lived it/done it before.
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During thanksgiving (remember the Blasers), well ashley and i went for a walk to a nearby chapel. it was in hurricane utah, so there was one across the street. we kicked pinecones and stared at the grass. not just because there was so much of it and i never see that much grass all at once in vegas, but because there were spiderwebs strung across ALL of it. and there was a lot. then i was agitated because the people here have so much grass and no one even walks or plays on it. on the way back we took the pleasure of traipsing through leaves.
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This whole experience was so familiar in my mind. i seriously had an out-of-body experience for the whole thing. it makes me feel like i'm presently living in the past.
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Then there was my dad's work christmas party. totally deja vued.

We got cool jingly bracelets. ok, that part wasn't djv

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Dad's birthday. more deja vu experiences that day too.

For example, i remember wrapping this and horribly sketching his name on it as if it already happened.

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Haven't you shown me this watch before? no, just bought it. that's why he's showing it to me now. hm. djv

I feel like i knew emma was going to take a nap under a giant blanket in the living room.

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And the whole ice skating experience. deja vued many moments of that too.

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Everyday-type conversation:

"I remember emma wearing that shirt!" -me

"But we just bought it yesterday..." -amy

.....It strikes again!

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Everyday-type action:

I do a homework assignment while watching tv then suddenly realize i feel like i'm re-living the whole experience. or i'll be blogging and feel like i've written the post before/already AS i'm typing it up. strange strange happenings i tell ya.

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i wonder how long this deja vu thing can actually persist. i keep thinking about it and wondering if that will jinx it into going away. honestly, i don't mind it. this is the next closest thing to having superpowers.

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Lately i've been trying to predict the future.

Ring! ring!! the phone! It must be ____ calling for ____!

I'm usually wrong. but i might as well try.

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I'm telling you! it's been intense. i've never thought about the word DEJA VU so much in my entire life!

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These are just some examples. and it's plenty. this deja vu thing doesn't drive me crazy, because it's a calm, familiar feeling. good thing too or else i'd be going berzerk right about now.

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This is what google told me about deja vu, which means "already seen"

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"the experience of deja vu is possibly a neurological anomaly related to improper electrical discharge in the brain"

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I never go to wikipedia, but this is pretty interesting.

Either there's an overlap in neurologic impulses between my short and long-term memory, i'm high on drugs, or i'm having hypnagogic jerks? what the heck's wrong with me? Click here.

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Oh, and there's other things i've never heard before known as jamais vu "never seen", presque vu "almost seen", deja entendu "already heard", and reja vu "this is going to happen again."

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Further research (aka the 2nd google result on the page, Click here) says:

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"As much as 70% of the population reports having experienced some form of deja vu. A higher number of incidents occurs in people 15-25 years old than in any other age group."

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Also, Click here:

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"It is worth noting that the deja vu feeling is common among psychiatric patients" [What!?]

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Ok, i'm done researching. this is not a good thing apparently.

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When will it end? will it end? do i want it to end?

What i'm trying to say is, WHAT'S GOING ON??!

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No need to watch the whole thing. but there. i answered my own question.

inn crowd...?

One of the bishopric members shared a thought with us. it got me thinking.




Lately i've been interested in this book by Susan Easton Black called 400 Questions & Answers about the life and times of Jesus Christ [i've learned so much already and gained a whole different perspective of His life and i'm only at the beginning]. she mentions something about the so-called "inn" that Joseph and Mary came across.

"It is not likely that Joseph the carpenter sought shelter for Mary in a public, noisy caravansary [place where travelers stayed]. It is more probable that he looked for a private room to rent in Bethlehem."

She also says, "Failing to find such a room, Joseph and Mary possibly lodged in a nearby limestone cave. Several caves on the hillside of Bethlehem were artificially enlarged, creating an upper chamber used as a dwelling place and a lower chamber intended for animals. It is possible that Joseph found shelter for Mary in a lower chamber in which there was a manger or feeding trough intended for animals."

That paints a slightly different picture in my head that i've never gotten from admiring countless nativity sets over the years. the picture in my head goes from a shack-barn-type structure of wood on the edge of town, to a wet, cold cave in a hillside. when Mary had baby Jesus, she was no older than 15, and Joseph was only about 20. they were both so young.

They were shunned and very much alone as they prepared to raise the Savior of the world. while Mary gave birth to a King in a lonely, smelly cave i wonder where i would have been that night.

I hope i would have been one of the few that believed Mary and Joseph and resolved to do everything possible to support them and make their burdens lighter. i hope i would have been in that stable to witness the divine birth of our Savior and welcome Him into the world and worship at His feet.


I hope that i can keep God's commandments today so that i can have a place with Him in the stable few.

And although the stable few may experience loneliness and discomfort, just as Mary and Joseph did on that night, there is no amount of comfort or warmth i would trade if it meant i would excuse myself from the presence of the Savior. i hope that He can rely on me to be His witness and stay with Him in any circumstance.

It may not be inn, but it will always be stable.

overdue hair cut

My hair was long. even longer than this.



But i got it cut tuesday. now it's short


I haven't styled it today...this is the air-dried look. but you get the idea.

Sometimes i am the newest member of the beatles, other times i am a mushroom, and still other times (and this is what i generally shoot for) it looks really good.

Mostly, people go long for the winter, but i didn't time it that way this year. oops. i guess. but i forget how much i rely on bobby pins for short hair since not all of it goes up in a ponytail anymore when i need it to. i think i'll like it more once it's a couple inches longer. but still, not bad eh? it's really easy to fix and it's fun to play with. it's also really light and airy. and when i shake my head back and forth like i'm doing right now, it makes a cool swishing sound.

Next time i'll do highlights.

very special day

Well yesterday was the day before the day before christmas. there's a movie by that name and everything. as megan put it, Christmas Adam, the day before Christmas Eve. :)

But December 23 is special for an even better reason: it's my daddy's birthday. last year was so depressingly sad because we didn't do anything for his birthday....or as he calls it, his "birfday." so this year, we searched high and low for two things we know for sure he would like. a cartoon tie, and a dolphin. dad has a collection of dolphin things; he's a dolphin at heart. so ash, mom, and i set out on a mission to find these two things. and DAAAAANG it was hard. i even texted my friend kathy who works at fashion show mall down on the strip. and we went there. amid the crazy christmas shoppers we went to the fashion show mall the week leading up to christmas. gosh we didn't even try walmart first. turns out there was a store that sold some cool-looking ties. the man approached us and said that the "top row is a little pricey. those ties are around $250, and the bottom row are about $80." whaaaa? no way hozzzay! we asked if they sold cartoon ties...you know, bugs bunny and the like. he said that no place at fashion show mall would (who were we kidding). he told us to try walmart. slap.in.the.face. it was funny. ',:|

Sidenote. we stopped at tivoli village [pronounced tI-voli, not ti-VO-li in case you say it wrong like me] for various reasons and saw this kid-sized toilet. it was literally a foot tall.



So for his birfday, we never ended up finding a good ole tie, but we did find a dolphin!
Who doesn't like plush dolphins. dad is a spoiler. he guesses everything right, so before he even finished unwrapping it he knew what it was. at least he liked it. it's name is debbie so apparently it's a she.



We're saving the best for christmas though and guess where i found it....walmart.

I love my dad so much! shh don't tell, but he turned 45 this year. and that's the truth. i'm pretty sure. that's what grandma said anyway, but i thought he's been 45 for like 4 or 5 years now. i never know. i thought this year he might be 47 or something, i've never done the math. dad always claims that he's 18...or 24...or 30...it's been bouncing around quite a bit.

It is also his first year as a grandpa! that's still weird for me to write. writing makes things official. but it's been official since November 5, when emma was born. and even before! when she was still in the belly.



I have goosebumps right now thinking about what to say about my dad. i really don't know what to say. i love him. just for being himself. my dad is the funniest guy around. people would leap through hoops just to swing a comeback at my dad. and some have become proficient at it too, but my dad always leaves the final word that makes everyone roll around in tears from laughing so hard.

But my dad is also very common sensical and reasonable. he's so smart and has crazy intuition about almost everything. he can sense people. he can feel what things to say or do at what times. he can read people and know pretty much what to expect out of them. and i have so much dang respect for him. he's no push over. but once you get to know this 6'2" big bald white guy with a booming voice, you realized how much of a cuddle monster he is. especially with kids, i just love seeing him with emma. how they look at each other with 'knowing' eyes, like they are speaking not only through words, but also through understanding and their spirits to one another. apart from being a dolphin, my dad is such a child at heart.

My biggest regret for his birthday is that i never got to give him a hug and BIG birthday kiss since i dozed out on the couch right before bed. i can today, but it's not exactly the same.

It was a wonderful day nonetheless. dolphin plush pillow pet thing, amy and jamison came over for a nice turkey dinner, emma was here of course which makes everything a thousand times amazinger, and dad loved their gift which was a molded handprint from emma. he found a placed on the living room wall to hang it. and we sang to him with awesome colorful candles that turned the fire different colors and ate pudding pie.

This is my mom. she's cute.

Colorful candles

Post-candle blowing.

I promise dad loves you more than debbie. he just needs a moment

Emma's handprint from 11.21.11

Now on the wall. & right above a picture of baby amy


Overall: mission accomplished.

Happy Birthday DADDEEE!!

click here if you want to be smart

I wrote down some cool things i learned yesterday as i watched the Music Choice - sounds of the seasons channel. i shall impart with you my knowledge and we shall both be smart. are you ready?

- teddy bears were created after "Teddy" Roosevelt refused to kill a bear cub on a hunting trip in 1902
- in Caracas, Venezuala, the streets are blocked off on Christmas Eve so that people can rollerskate to church
- in ancient times, it was forbidden to fight in the presence of mistletoe
- in Hungary, Christmas Eve dinner wasn't served until a twinkling star was seen in the sky
- the Rockefeller Christmas tree takes 5 miles of lights to decorate it (geez!)
- the longest Monopoly game lasted 70 days. that's from x-mas to st. patricks day (i never liked that game anyways)
- it takes 15 years to grow an average christmas tree
- according to superstition, cattle talk at midnight on christmas eve
- play-doh originally entered the market as a wallpaper cleaner in 1956
- england's Queen Elizabeth I gave notable visitors a gingerbread man in their likeness. gingerbread men were born!
- christmas carols were invented to tell the nativity story to people who didn't know how to read
- legend has it that if you sit under a pine tree on christmas eve you can hear angels singing
- the tradition of exchanging gifts was started by the ancient romans (how ironic)
- the German word "Christkindl", meaning Christ-child, was eventually turned into "Kriss Kringle"
- are you getting all this?
- Edward Johnson, Thomas Edison's assistant, invented Christmas tree lights in 1882
- in olden times, unmarried english women would eat gingerbread "husbands" to give themselves luck in the love department
- the minimum size of of the christmas tree used in Rockefeller Center must be at least 65 ft tall and 35 ft wide
- there are 12 courses in Ukrainian christmas eve supper, one dedicated to each of Christ's 12 apostles
- A Charlie Brown Christmas has been televised every year since 1965
- hula-hoops were once banned in Japan because hip-shaking in public was considered indecent (ehehehe)
- each acre of land used to grow christmas trees provides the daily oxygen requirement of 18 people
- mistletoe has been held sacred by the Norse, Celtic Druids, and North American Indians
- about 1.5 billion christmas cards are sent a year in the United States
- a mistletoe hung on the doorframe or ceiling brings goodwill and harmony
- - it's tradition in Sweden for the oldest daughter to dress in white and waked the parents by singing "Santa Lucia" (how embarrassing for them)
- santa was generally depicted as an elf until 1931, when Coca-Cola ads portrayed him as human-sized
- furbies were the biggest christmas gift of 1998
- every year, a 275-ft christmas tree is erected to float down a lagoon in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (uh...why?)
- rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was created by Montomgery Ward Copywriter to lure customers to the store (selfish actions turned into legends...it happens)
- St Nicholas was a bishop serving in Myra, Lycia (Turkey) in AD 350
- Santacon, starting in 1994, is where a mob of people dressed as Santa run amok in San Francisco
- Santa used to wear a tan coat in early American pictures, until a guy finally drew him in a red suit
- are you learning stuff? i sure am
- poet Clement Moore was the first to talk about Santa's sleigh and reindeer
- Jack, the skeleton guy from Nightmare Before Christmas, had 400 different heads for the movie
- you'll find apples in christmas decorations around europe because december 24 is the Feast of Adam and Eve
- recycled christmas trees are used as sand and soil erosion barriers (i always wondered about that)

You'd think i'm making some of this stuff up!! i thought about it, but no. it's all straight from facts, so soak it all in my friends. and if you made it this far, i hope you learned something new. :D usually that is unheard of during holiday break, but i believe in you.
Now just one more thing...do you think this is a productive way to spend my winter break?...




You don't need to answer right away...

first to die - patterson

Ok well. i said i would "let you know how it goes" in regards to this book:



I finished it a few days ago but honestly, don't read it.

It's one of those books that gets right into the action and constantly thrills you up to the final chapter. but! not good. the crimes got a little, actually a lot, detailed about the murders that some insane killer was performing. i got disgusted. mostly with myself for still reading it.

People say it's really good. james patterson did write it. but, coming from me...i say BE WARNED. the book was the kind i liked -- that kept me interested throughout. but i can safely say i'm not going to finished the women's murder club series. it's one of those WWJD scenarios so i'm just digging a grave for myself if i read on. i'm supposed to know better than to read these crazy things! :0
Now off to read uplifting, wholesome homework stuff. two more finals and i'm done! i know some of you are also in that boat. so good luck my friends.

ice skating!

I love ice skating you guys!! i've done it twice before YEARS ago with my best friend bonnie. but today, i went to watch my little bro benjamin. it was his first time. he told me it feels just like skating. i disagree.

He started off using one of those walker-pole thingies.



Then he promoted himself to 'the wall'.


Mom and i watched.
Well until she had to make phone calls. then it was just me. i should've gone ice skating too, but i wanted mom to go with me. i got mad at myself afterwards for not just doing it. but i always secretly wanted to go ice skating as a date night one day. maybe i will.

At the end, benjamin got an owie on his foot. bad skate.



Didja find it? sorry you got your foot all beat up. here. have my pink stripey socks. better? don't worry, i don't need them as much as you do.


This is me and the battered boy. i made him stop and take a picture with me.


He got really fast at the end. that's ma'boy.


I did catch a pretty hilarious clip of him falling though (on my awesome camera). it'll take too long to upload or else i mightve. poor guy, i'n lieu of the christmas spirit of kindness and good will, i'll spare him the embarrassment this one time. plus he got his patriarchal blessing two days ago. i'm so excited about it for him! come to find out, he's a lot more like me than i gave him credit for. so, no embarrassment THIS time. muahaha.

But seriously, i love ice skating. it's so fun. glad he finally filled this void in his life. even though he never missed it. but i did for him and now it's complete. maybe i should start a bucketlist of things to do to/for other people.

jumbled thoughts, christmas does it to you

In ancient times, it was forbidden to fight in the presence of mistletoe.
In Hungary, Christmas Eve dinner wasn't served until the twinkling of a star was seen outside.
It takes 5 miles of lights to wrap around the entire Rockefeller X-mas tree.
Jack, the skeleton guy from Nightmare Before Christmas, had 400 different heads that they used for the movie.
St Nick used to have a tan suit before some guy wrote about it being red...it's been red ever since.
It takes 15 years to grow an average Christmas tree, which is grown in all 50 U.S. states including alaska and hawaii.

These are some things I learned as I was babysitting last night. there was a music channel on television playing christmas music, and every 30 seconds it would show a new christmas fact on the screen. i was watching it for two hours. there was a lot of interesting info, i don't remember it all though.

The twin boys I babysit are named Andrew and John. they are almost 9? months now, and i started watching them with natalie smith as a summer job...just until school started. after natalie left for college, jenn kept calling me back to sit for them. Jenn was my flute teacher years ago. she and her husband nate play in the phantom of the opera...and nate also works in the lion king and vegas show....apart from other work he has. so they are both busy and need the help with their boys. when i started watching them, they were only 3, almost 4 months old and itty-bitty. when i saw them again yesterday andrew was crawling around and john has four teeth growing in! next time i go they'll have mustaches and be sipping coffee! geez.


when i started sitting for them....


this is andrew


in october....


this is john


them now!

This is one of those "odd jobs" i've been workin lately. but even though it's half an hour away and sorta inconvenient, i just love these boys too much to give it up completely. i'm going to draw the line after december and hope that jenn's nanny can be more consistent starting january. it was good times while it lasted! but i need to find a job that is closer to where i live! it seems like the other two "odd jobs" i have are still on the go though. one, i'm a parttime receptionist at a therapist office. and the other, i'm an assistant to one of my classmates at her own business in children's spa parties. see what i mean by odd jobs? they have nothing to do with each other...but they all pay really good, i have connections in each, and they all pretty much came to me. i'm pretty darn blessed to have little jobs that mostly work around my school schedule and that i really enjoy. the money is appreciated too. ;)

Anyways, so sorry for not writing for a whole week. truth is, i was so nastily sick that i wasn't in the mood to even go online at all really. all i have left from it is a productive throat-clearing cough, but it all started tuesday when i started feeling achy all over. it was the kind that reached down to my bones, and i was shivering so bad at times. mom lathered me in unkers and doterra oils. thank goodness because i'm getting better already - right before a week of finals - and last time i felt down-to-the-bones sick it lasted for a week and a half. i love doterra oils. that's all i have to say. a long time ago, i even helped mom put together a website introducing them: ahealerineveryhome.weebly.com
Miracle workers i tell ya!

Wow. i didn't say anything i planned on saying in my post today. i actually have a lot of other stuff i was going to write down....guess it'll have to wait. one of it is....i've been having some serious dejavu. every day. i feel like i'm living in the past at times -- that's how bad it is. and it's in serious doses. i don't know what's going on. some people think dejavu is bad, some think it's good. i'll tell you what i think when i explain what's going on with me.
Also, is it time i moved to the singles ward? high school all over again? i hope not. but that's what i'm afraid is gonna happen. i never cared for singles ward, but i feel like the family ward is running out of things to offer [me]. i don't know guys. help.

If i don't write again for a while, it's probably because i'm trying to study for finals. 3 more to go and i'm out for the winter.

emma was blessed today

Emma looked so beautiful in her little white dress that abuelita corazon and my mom sewed. it was simple and pure white, with a line of braided strand wrapped around the front and arm sleeves. emma also wore a cute headband with two white flowers sewn on.


She was so good during the blessing, and her daddy Jamison did such a good job giving it. amy looked so pretty today too, even though she's been dead tired from lack of sleep. but there was a certain glow to her today.


We had family come from all over to see the blessing. what a special day for the pruitt family. what a special girl emma is.