Can you imagine that feeling? What Harry must have felt: confused, alone, doubtful...As he walked along the cold, dark path leading to his own death. And Voldemort.
This image was playing through my mind as I walked down Tenaya towards Lake Mead. No one could take me that afternoon, but I had already set the appointment to get my hair cut.
It's just a haircut, right? Wrong. I was going big time this time. My hair has never been shorter than my shoulders, but for some reason, I really really wanted a bob.
And the persistent idea of having a bob was nagging at me. I. don't. know. why.
Maybe it's because last time I got my hair layered very recently, I was toying with the idea and took a couple pictures with the rest of my hair tied back to try it out and see if it'd be cute.
I don't know. I liked the thought of trying it. Then, on my mom's birthday, I was looking through some pictures of my young mom in her 20's. I saw a little bit of myself in her. And she experimented with all sorts of short hair...and she looked cute! That amplified the desire to just tryyy it.
Nag nag nag it did. Nag how? Every time I looked in the mirror, at a picture, or imagined myself on the mission in Ecuador, all I could picture on myself was with my hair as a bob. It was a strange impulse. And persisted for like a month before Wednesday at 4:30pm. The appointment.
I felt very much like Harry Potter at this moment before the point of no return. I even made a couple phone calls on the way..."Amy, what do you think..? Do you think I can do this..?" "Ashley, are you suuuure you think it'd be okay? Isn't it a bad idea since it's right before I leave?"
It's true, hair does grow back. And if it turns out horrendous I probably deserved it. But all the opinions that I cared about thought that it would look good. "Because you have a heart-shaped face and long neck..." My lanza I hoped so.
The lady's name was Ashley. Okay okay, that's good. That's my beautiful little sister's name. I can deal. The place was called Canyon Falls...an especially special salon place recommended to me by my older sister Aimster. So that's another plus.
She gave me a niiice scalp shampoo massage thing to start. Good, good. Then I explained what I was looking for. The bob, but keep it kinda long in front still. I want it easy to manage, and voluminous. Please grant me my wish.
It took an hour and a half to cut and style. Then, I panicked. I was trying to be patient and wait til Ashley was done styling it, but I looked terrible. It looked like someone put a corn husk on my head. I looked like Willy Wonka --- the Johnny Depp one!!! I had somewhere to be soon, and Ashley had two little guests of hers waiting for her to get done. So...I panicked...with time, with diminishing hair, and diminishing faith in my idea that it would turn out fine.
I asked Ashley to snip a little more in back. It was taking forever!! I panicked big time. At 6:45, 2.5 hrs after we started this process, I pretty much told her 'nevermind' and to finish wherever she was at and I would just deal with it. (but said nicely).
Then I darted out because I had somewhere to be at 7!! My cooworkers were having a last Bon Voyage dinner at Lucille's BBQ for me. They even called it La Fiesta de Despedida. I had to be there!
My hair air-dried. My coworker friends pointed out that it made me look younger, but some said it made me look more mature, and one said it made me look exotic...I felt temporary relief at the good comments. But ever since then, I've been threading my fingers through my hair only to feel the stubby ends terminate too soon. I don't know if I can do this.
But I guess it's too late. I hope I find a cute way or two to style it. Otherwise, people in Ecuador are going to think I'm some weird corn husk head lady who owns a chocolate factory.
A little longer and I think I'll like it better.
Grow hair! Grow!!!
But, I still don't regret it. It was the only solution to my nagging notion -- it's an experiment. Just had to try.
